Mom: Bug, aren’t your eyes tired?
Bug: No they just have water in them cause I had to cry.
Bug: No they just have water in them cause I had to cry.
Category: Funny
The Circus
Bug: Mommy said she was going to sell me to the circus… It was not really a funny joke. I did not laugh at that.
Duct tape
After taping here puzzle piece.
Bug: Wow mom, you can fix anything!
Bug: Wow mom, you can fix anything!
Spiders
Bug: The spider scared mommy out of the crap and she went ahhhhhhh!
Shoes
Bug: I want to wear my frozen shoes.
Mom: no we have to wear our tennis shoes today
Bug: but I don’t like those crack shoes I want to be pretty
Mom: no we have to wear our tennis shoes today
Bug: but I don’t like those crack shoes I want to be pretty
Hairy Legs
Bug: Hey dad, whats all over your legs?
Dad: Hair. Guys have hairy legs.
Bug: Did it just fall from your head one day and get stuck?
Dad: Hair. Guys have hairy legs.
Bug: Did it just fall from your head one day and get stuck?
I laughed for a good 5 minutes.
I Do Not Drive!
Dad: *through bluetooth to phone* Give me directions to the nearest coffee shop.
Bug: I do not know how to do that. I do not drive…
Bug: I do not know how to do that. I do not drive…
Microwaves!!
Catie: Bug do you know what happens next month?
Bug: Yeah, I have to teach a class to some kids.
Catie: Oh, I see. Do you know what else, you have a birthday and get to turn 3!
Bug: Yaaaayyy! And I’ll get a microwave to cook my food in as my present!!
Bug: Yeah, I have to teach a class to some kids.
Catie: Oh, I see. Do you know what else, you have a birthday and get to turn 3!
Bug: Yaaaayyy! And I’ll get a microwave to cook my food in as my present!!
Mom broke my heart.
Bug: Dadda, momma broke my my heart yesterday.
Dad: Why would she break your heart?
Bug: …because Madeleine was being a butthead…
Dad: Why would she break your heart?
Bug: …because Madeleine was being a butthead…
Crash!
Walking down the sidewalk and carrying kids I slipped a bit on ice.
Bug: Be careful Dad you could crash!
Dad: How can I crash if I am not driving?
Bug: You can still crash into the ground!!!